Be happy

I simply cry during the fight

I try to shut up my mouth

with both hands...

I try so hard to be happy

I scream in my head

Shut up! Be happy!!

Stop whining please...

I'm walking numb 
feeling like nothing is real
My hands on a knife
cutting so deep,

The dust of the pills

calm me down during this nightmare
but nothing is enough.

Water so warm 
dripping in to my skinny body,
the blood is wash away...

I'm saying nothing
But I feel what I feel...